Matrimony

A very close friend of mine,who is a Muslim,always worries about going into higher studies, coz , she says if she doesnt find her way soon, she is afraid that she'll be hurried into marrying someone and starting a family.Kudos to her attitude for that.The less urgent spirit of the rest of us haven't gotten us into taking the impending entrance test that serious yet.A week ago, I met my classmate, while we both were getting photocopies for the next day's university exam. She gave me a near heart-attack by declaring that her marriage has been fixed. She also gave me an on-the-spot invitation to her engagement next week. My first instinct thought was to ask, "How could do they do this to you??!!" ( I meant her parents), followed by a more sympathising (I just cudn't empathise!) "Im so sorry for you". From there i could've gone on like, "Cant you do anything about it?", or a "Who is this moron robbing you of all the happiness of your carefree days.." etc on and on. But I was stupid. And very charactersitically so! Because, I saw immediately that she was clearly happy. And then i thought about perspective. May be, it was like how they said about "the world appearing yellow to someone who looks on through a yellow glass paper"!!

My neighbour has a young daughter of around 3 years. She is such a l'l angel and all of us love her with much affection. She was recenlty taken to a nursery where , when she apparently 'misbehaved' ( read refusing to eat food properly and sleep when they instruct her to), the person who runs the nursery said, "Shouldn't she be l'l better behaved, after all she should go into another home when the time comes"!!. After that, her parents never send her there. This little piece caused a lot of laughter when the rest of us heard- she, after all, was a girl of three !!

When i was little, i used to swear to amma that i will not marry.I used to tell her, I 'll live with her, 'Happily ever after'. Amused, she would say, "Okay, that would be fun."

A while back, when my friend told me about his 'true love', i kept discussing with another friend about our own respective ideas of 'Mr.Right'. It was very amusing and even straining, because when you think, you have to think very hard to list all the qualities that ur "Mr.Right" will have! Coz, i had never really ruled out the possibility, but was skeptical coz, i think, sometimes, life offers only a few chances of getting to meet that one person. It would've been convenient if there really was a solution of something like "imprinting" (if u have read all of the twilight saga, you would know) as it saves a lot of hardships and troubles!

The first time my mother met my father, it was, what do you call when u see each others photographs first? "A photographic meet"?? It was just that. And then they meet at the engagement and everything was fixed by the elders. Ofcourse, the era being a little more progressed than the oldest, both of them got their say of 'yes or no' and which place you want to get married, which way etc etc. I marvel at my mother's courage back then. I always failed to see if at all any courage or sacrifice was made necessary on my father's part. It was she who had to transplant her life from her home to his. I picture her formulating plans in mind about how best to get in good terms with each of my father's family members, and his was a joint family family- so much more people to live with. Or maybe, it dint work that way. She might have never had to think it through, plan it. Things might have just fallen in place.She might have always been best friends with my father's people, now hers too, from the very beginning, as she is now. I 'll never know. And thus i marvel at the courage of my mother, and my grandmother and my great grandmother and generations of women before them, who makes part of my blood and flesh. But the very institution of marriage continues to make me wonder..and feel terrorised, may be..


There may not be any reason why i should be so worried. May be it is my concern about my friend. I wish her good luck, and a very happy life. And I do see that my mother never really had any damage by marrying my father. Except her occasional taunts about my father, which she makes in the form of complaints, about how she never really got a lot of choice coz she agreed to the first person who came to meet her, my father. And that always brings about a quiet smile in my dad's face, which is really handsome to look at. And then i think that it must have been an easy choice for her. Coz my dad was very handsome then,and he is still, even with his fair share of grey hair (which he refuses to dye , which i like). He had brilliant educational qualification and family. So, may be it was easy for her, even with all the risk involved..Or may be im being unnecessarily crazy. I 'll never know. Or maybe i will find out some day. But i hope i 'll meet my Mr.Right on that way!!